Monday, March 10, 2014

It Was Dark

Yes, I rode to work today.

And . . .

It was dark.

The time changes are perilous times for me. Leo, the cat, likes this one better than the one in the Fall. He is happy to get his evening feeding earlier. He doesn't think much of the Fall back concept.

In addition to the time change we had a significant change in the temperatures. Today's high was to reach close to 80F/27C. This meant a slight scramble to find this piece of gear and that piece of gear, pieces I haven't used for a couple of months. Part of my functioning in the world since my head injury is moving to the rhythm of patterned routines. Today was not a routine day.

And to make a long story short, today was a very bad "brain" day for me. Everything felt wrong. I was very much out of phase.

Hadn't seen this bike since last November.

Vulcan Rider and I had company today. Yep, the Harleys came out to play.

I struggled through the morning, but by 2 PM I'd had all the good time I could take. I left work early. Sometimes I think I should just plan to take a couple of days off at the changing of the times. But, I suspect it would just put off the adjustment. It's about the routines embedded in my body not just about the clock. The first ride to work after the time change would still be the first ride after the time change whether it happens on Monday or Wednesday. This is only the second time in the eight years I've worked at the Courts I've had to step away during the days after the time change. Both times it has been in the Spring.

The ride home helped. Riding always helps. When I got home I went right to bed. I didn't sleep I just let my brain's world settle for a couple of hours.

Tomorrow I'll show up again. Showing up is what I do. Showing up and waiting for a new normal, a new patterned routine to settle in. The adjustment will occur. And it won't be according to CDST or CST, but to IOT, It's Own Time. I hope it will be sooner rather than later.

  • 47F/8C and some clouds for the ride Downtown.
  • 77F/25C and still a little cloudy for the early ride home.


  1. I don't know exactly how this affects your brain, but routine is calming and grounding for so many people. I haven't had routine in my life for decades and I don't know that it wouldn't make me even more anxious- waiting for the inevitable change. I tend to wait for the other shoe to drop. It's a programmed childhood thing...

    1. Martha,
      It takes a lot of thought for me to get through the day. Routine helps me not waste energy. When I can tap into the more instinctual part of my brain, as I do when I ride, it actually gives me energy. With the time change many of my visual and kinesthetic clues change which causes dissonance which can become overwhelming. I'll be glad when the mental haziness lifts. I'm hopeful it may done so this afternoon. We'll see.

  2. I am glad you weather changed so much but I am sorry the time change is so hard on your brain.

    I wish we didn't have to change it at all.

    1. I'll be grateful to be able to play outside in the light after work...once I get used to the change. I get why they don't want the kids to be in the dark on the way to school, but I think a better solution is just to start school later and let us keep the daylight saving time year around.

  3. Dark but not stormy…

    I like the lighting in the first photo.

    1. Yes, not stormy...or windy. Both those happen tomorrow.

      I liked the lighting in the first photo as well. Glad you liked it, too.